As the days grow shorter and the air turns crisp, we enter the holiday season which is often marked by gatherings, gratitude reminders and inner reflection. Yet for many, the holidays can amplify the ache of absence. A chair that sits empty at the table. A familiar laugh no longer echoing through the room. The quiet whisper in your heart saying, “How can I do this without them here?”
At The Confident Grief Coach School, we know that grief often sits at the table of gratitude – two companions that seem so different yet together can hold profound healing power. This time of year, invites us not to push away our sorrow, but to make space for it and in that same space, to notice even the smallest flickers of gratitude that remind us life still holds meaning.
The Science of Gratitude and Grief Healing
Gratitude is more than a polite habit or a seasonal ritual – it is a science-backed pathway to well-being. Research across neuroscience, psychology and physiology consistently shows that cultivating gratitude supports both emotional resilience and physical health – qualities deeply needed when navigating grief.
- Brain and Emotional Health:
Neuroscientists at the University of California, Berkeley found that regular gratitude practice activates the medial prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain associated with empathy, emotional regulation, and connection (Fox et al., 2015). For those grieving, this activation can help ease emotional intensity, creating space for compassion and self-soothing. - Mental Health and Mood Regulation:
Studies published in Clinical Psychology Review have shown that individuals who maintain a gratitude practice experience lower rates of depression and anxiety and report higher levels of meaning in life (Wood et al., 2010). Gratitude doesn’t erase grief – it offers balance, allowing moments of light to coexist with pain. - Physical and Immune System Benefits:
Research by Dr. Robert Emmons and Dr. Michael McCullough, leading scholars in positive psychology, found that people who regularly express gratitude report fewer physical symptoms, better sleep, and stronger immune function (Emmons & McCullough, 2003). This is especially vital during grief, when our bodies often carry the weight of emotional stress.
In our B.R.E.A.T.H.E. Coaching Model for Grief™ certification training, we teach our students how practices like gratitude can calm the nervous system, reframe limiting beliefs and gently assist clients in shifting their thoughts toward renewed purpose. It’s not about “being thankful for the loss”. It is about recognizing what remains life-giving within the loss: a cherished memory, a moment of connection or the resilience discovered in surviving another day.
Gratitude as Gentle Practice
For those walking along the uneven terrain of grief, gratitude can feel out of reach. It is important to approach it not as an obligation but as an invitation. Start small. Notice the sunlight through the trees. The comfort of a pet’s steady presence. The memory of your loved one’s laughter. Write down one thing – just one – that warms your heart or brings a sense of peace.
We encourage our students and graduates to introduce gratitude practices into their coaching sessions with sensitivity and timing. Sometimes that looks like:
- A daily journal entry reflecting on moments of calm or connection
- A gratitude “walk” where clients move their bodies and pause to breathe deeply in and out as they notice beauty in nature
- A remembrance ritual that honors both the loss and the love that continues
These are the small acts that help rebuild the brain’s pathways of hope. Over time, gratitude strengthens not only emotional endurance but also the belief that moving forward with a new or renewed sense of purpose is possible – in our B.R.E.A.T.H.E.™ model, we help our clients find H.O.P.E. ™ – Honoring Our Purpose Every day.
Honoring Grief, Inviting Gratitude
As we enter this season of giving and receiving, let us hold both truth and tenderness: grief will always be part of the story, but it does not have to define the entirety of it. Gratitude allows us to weave in threads of love, connection, and growth – reminders that even in our deepest sorrow, we can still experience joy.
At The Confident Grief Coach School, our mission is to equip compassionate individuals to support others through this very intersection of grief and renewal. We teach that healing begins when we acknowledge what hurts and recognize what still gives life. That is the essence of transformation – of turning pain into purpose.
For Those Feeling Called
If you have experienced loss and feel the urge to help others find their way through it, you are not alone. Our 12-week Certified Grief Coach and B.R.E.A.T.H.E.™ Facilitator Program blends neuroscience, positive psychology and structured coaching practice to prepare you to guide others with confidence and compassion, while also deepening your own healing.
As we move through this season of gratitude, may we each pause to breathe, reflect and give thanks for the love that remains… the love that continues to teach us, heal us and inspire us to serve.
“Gratitude doesn’t deny our grief – it holds our healing.”
—Pat Sheveland, Founder, The Confident Grief Coach School
Learn more about the B.R.E.A.T.H.E. Coaching Model for Grief™
References:
- Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389.
- Fox, G. R., Kaplan, J., Damasio, H., & Damasio, A. (2015). Neural correlates of gratitude. Frontiers in Psychology, 6, 1491.
- Wood, A. M., Froh, J. J., & Geraghty, A. W. (2010). Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration.Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 890–905.